About Pete
Learn more about my background, experience and the approach I bring to coaching.
Individual Relationship Coaching
One-to-one relationship coaching for adults
Individual relationship coaching can help you understand recurring relationship patterns, identify what may be keeping you stuck and find different ways of navigating your relationships.
You may be experiencing conflict or disconnection in a relationship, struggling with emotional intimacy, navigating difficult family dynamics or finding that similar relationship difficulties keep appearing in different areas of your life.
You might feel isolated, unhappy, hopeless, guilty or highly self-critical about what is happening.
Perhaps you have already spent a lot of time thinking about the relationship. You may even understand where some of your patterns come from, but find that this understanding hasn't changed how you feel or what happens when the pattern appears again.
Relationship coaching gives us an opportunity to look at what is happening, the patterns involved and what may be keeping you stuck.
This is individual coaching. Your partner or family member does not need to attend.
What Can Individual Relationship Coaching Help With?
Individual relationship coaching can help with recurring relationship patterns, conflict, emotional disconnection, intimacy, family dynamics, relationship endings and difficulties within professional relationships.
You don't need to be in a romantic relationship to come for relationship coaching.
We might work with:
Recurring relationship patterns — finding yourself repeatedly experiencing similar difficulties, feelings or dynamics across different relationships.
Conflict and disconnection — feeling stuck in conflict, emotionally distant or unable to find a different way of relating.
Emotional intimacy — difficulty expressing what you feel, allowing yourself to be emotionally close or understanding what happens when intimacy becomes difficult.
Guilt and self-criticism — repeatedly blaming yourself or struggling with how you see yourself within a relationship.
Family dynamics — navigating current family relationships or recognising ways that earlier family dynamics may be influencing how you relate now.
Endings and separation — making sense of what has happened, coming to terms with an ending and considering what you want for your future.
Reconnection and forgiveness — exploring what reconnection or forgiveness might mean to you without assuming that either is necessarily the right outcome.
Professional relationships — understanding difficult dynamics with colleagues, managers or people in positions of authority and developing strategies for navigating them.
You might know exactly which relationship you want to work on, or simply recognise that something keeps happening in your relationships and you want to understand it differently.
When Understanding the Pattern Isn't Enough
Sometimes you already understand the problem.
You may be able to explain where a relationship pattern comes from, recognise how previous relationships have influenced you or see exactly what happens when a particular conflict develops.
But what you understand intellectually and what you experience emotionally don't always match.
You can know something about yourself and still find that you feel or respond very differently when the situation actually occurs.
Relationship coaching gives us space to become curious about that difference.
We can explore the relationship between what you think, what you feel and how you respond, and consider where greater awareness or different choices may help you move towards your relationship goals.
The aim isn't simply to understand yourself better.
It is to use that understanding to create greater choice in how you respond within and navigate your relationships.
Relationship Patterns, Family Dynamics & Conflict
Relationship patterns don't necessarily exist independently of the other relationships in our lives.
Sometimes dynamics you recognise from earlier family or relationship experiences may also appear in present relationships.
You may notice similar experiences of conflict, disconnection, guilt, criticism or emotional distance occurring with a partner, family member, colleague or manager.
Where it is relevant to your current coaching goals, we can consider whether patterns you recognise from earlier relationships are influencing how you navigate relationships now.
This doesn't mean assuming that everything happening in the present is caused by the past.
Instead, we look at what is happening now, what may be influencing it and what you would like to be different.
That might involve identifying the dynamics involved in a conflict, increasing awareness of your own responses, developing different ways of expressing what you feel or finding practical strategies for navigating a difficult relationship.
The focus remains on the relationships and changes that matter to you now.
Relationships at Work
Relationship patterns don't necessarily stop when you enter the workplace.
You may find yourself repeatedly struggling with a manager, experiencing conflict with colleagues, finding criticism particularly difficult or feeling less confident around people in positions of authority.
Sometimes patterns in how you relate personally can also influence how you experience yourself professionally.
This can become particularly important when it affects your confidence, leadership, communication, performance or ability to navigate workplace relationships.
Coaching can help us identify the dynamics involved in a particular conflict or professional relationship and consider what may be contributing to it.
We can then develop strategies for navigating the situation differently, while increasing your awareness of your own responses and the options available to you.
The aim isn't to decide who is right or wrong. It is to help you understand the dynamics involved and become more confident in how you choose to respond.
Endings, Separation, Reconnection & Change
Relationship coaching can also provide space to make sense of what happens when a relationship changes or ends.
After an ending, you may understand intellectually that the relationship is over while finding that emotionally it doesn't yet feel finished.
You may be left trying to make sense of what happened, experiencing guilt or self-criticism, wondering whether things could have been different or finding it difficult to think about what comes next.
Coaching can give you space to make sense of what has happened, consider what the relationship and its ending mean to you, and explore feelings or patterns that may be making it difficult to move forward.
The goal isn't to force yourself to “move on.”
As you develop a clearer understanding of what has happened and what you need, your attention may begin to move more naturally from the past and present towards your future and what you want from it.
There may also be situations where the relationship hasn't definitively ended.
You might be considering reconnection, change or separation, or simply trying to understand what you want.
My role isn't to tell you whether you should stay, leave, reconnect or forgive.
It is to help you understand yourself and the relationship more clearly, explore what may be keeping you stuck and become more confident in the direction you choose.
A Different Approach to Relationship Coaching
As a Certified Psychodynamic Life Coach, I work with the goals you bring to coaching while also being curious about patterns that may be influencing how you navigate your relationships.
Sometimes greater understanding and a practical strategy are enough to create movement.
At other times, you may understand exactly what you would like to do differently but still find it difficult to respond differently when the situation occurs.
Our work isn't limited to analysing the situation.
Depending on your goals, I may incorporate reflective and imaginative exercises, grounding or breathing techniques and greater awareness of what you notice physically and emotionally, alongside practical strategies for navigating relationships.
We may also explore different thoughts, feelings or perspectives you hold about a situation, particularly when you find yourself pulled in different directions.
For example, you may intellectually know that you don't need to feel guilty, recognise that a conflict isn't entirely your responsibility or understand that a relationship has ended — while experiencing something quite different emotionally.
Rather than trying to reason that response away, we can become more aware of the relationship between what you understand, what you feel and how you choose to respond.
The work remains focused on your coaching goals, the choices available to you and how you want to move forward.
What Might You Gain From Relationship Coaching?
What changes will depend on what brings you to coaching and what you want to be different.
The work may help you develop:
Greater self-awareness within your relationships.
A better understanding of recurring relationship patterns.
Greater awareness and expression of what you feel.
A clearer understanding of how your experiences, relationships and sense of self fit together.
Greater awareness of the relationship between what you understand intellectually and what you experience emotionally.
More choice in how you respond to relationship difficulties.
Practical strategies for navigating conflict and difficult relationship dynamics.
Greater clarity around relationship decisions and what you want for your future.
Increased confidence in yourself and how you approach future relationships.
The goal isn't a perfect relationship or the absence of difficulty.
It is greater awareness, choice and confidence in how you navigate the relationships that matter to you.
Who Is Individual Relationship Coaching For?
Relationship coaching may be appropriate if you are:
Currently in a relationship and experiencing conflict, disconnection, intimacy difficulties or recurring patterns.
Single and wanting to understand patterns from previous relationships before entering another one.
Separating or recently separated and trying to make sense of what has happened and consider your future.
Considering reconnection, forgiveness or an ending and wanting space to understand what you want.
Navigating difficult family dynamics and wanting to understand or change how you respond within them.
Experiencing relationship difficulties at work, including recurring conflict or challenging dynamics with colleagues or managers.
Relationship coaching is individual. You do not need your partner, family member, colleague or anyone else involved in the relationship to participate.
The focus is on what you can understand, choose and potentially do differently.
Online Relationship Coaching
I provide online individual relationship coaching for adults.
Sessions are focused on what has brought you to coaching, what you would like to be different and the goals you want to work towards.
You don't need to arrive with a clear explanation for why a relationship isn't working or know exactly what needs to change.
Developing greater clarity can become part of the coaching process.
A free 20-minute discovery call gives us an opportunity to discuss what's happening, what you would like to work on and whether my approach feels appropriate for you.
Book Your Free 20-Minute Discovery Call
Frequently Asked Questions
What is individual relationship coaching?
Individual relationship coaching is one-to-one coaching focused on helping you understand and navigate relationships differently.
It can involve recurring relationship patterns, conflict, emotional intimacy, communication, family dynamics, endings or professional relationships.
The work remains focused on your goals, the choices available to you and what you would like to be different.
Can I have relationship coaching without my partner?
Yes. Your partner does not need to participate in individual relationship coaching.
The work focuses on your own experience of the relationship, the patterns or dynamics involved, how you respond and what you would like to change.
This means you can work on a relationship even when the other person doesn't want to participate.
Do I need to be in a relationship?
No.
You may be single and want to understand patterns from previous relationships, have recently experienced a relationship ending or want to understand yourself better before beginning another relationship.
Relationship coaching can also focus on family or professional relationships, rather than romantic relationships.
Can relationship coaching help with recurring relationship patterns?
Yes. Identifying recurring patterns can be an important part of relationship coaching.
We can explore what repeatedly happens, how you respond within the pattern and what may be influencing the choices available to you.
Where it is relevant to your current coaching goals, this can include considering whether patterns you recognise from earlier relationships are influencing how you navigate relationships now.
Can relationship coaching help after a separation or breakup?
Yes. Relationship coaching can give you space to make sense of what happened, consider what the ending means to you and think about what you want for your future.
You may intellectually understand that a relationship has ended while still experiencing difficult or conflicting feelings about it.
The aim isn't to force yourself to move on. Greater understanding and clarity may allow thinking about your future to begin to feel more natural.
Can relationship coaching help me decide whether to stay or leave?
Relationship coaching can help you explore what is happening within the relationship, what you want and what may be making the decision difficult.
I won't tell you whether you should stay, leave, reconnect or end a relationship.
The aim is to increase your understanding of yourself and the situation so that you can make your own decisions with greater clarity and confidence.
Can relationship coaching help with family relationships?
Yes. Relationship coaching can include current family dynamics and recurring patterns within family relationships.
Where relevant to your coaching goals, we can consider what happens within those relationships, how you respond and what you would like to navigate differently.
Can relationship coaching help with difficulties at work?
Yes. Relationships with colleagues, managers and people in positions of authority can also be an appropriate focus for individual relationship coaching.
We can identify the dynamics involved in conflict or recurring difficulties and develop strategies to help you navigate those relationships differently.
How is relationship coaching different from relationship therapy?
Relationship coaching focuses on your present and future goals and how you want to navigate your relationships.
We may consider patterns, emotions or previous experiences where they are relevant to a current coaching goal, but the purpose is to increase self-awareness, clarify choices and support changes in how you approach your relationships.
Relationship coaching is not psychotherapy, counselling, psychological treatment or couples therapy.
My relationship coaching is also one-to-one rather than work with a couple together.
Is relationship coaching available online?
Yes. I provide online individual relationship coaching for adults.
Sessions take place online, allowing you to access coaching privately from a location that works for you.
Feeling Stuck in a Relationship?
You don't need to know exactly why a relationship feels difficult before getting in touch.
You may be experiencing conflict or disconnection, trying to understand a recurring pattern, navigating family or professional relationships, coming to terms with an ending or uncertain about what you want to happen next.
The free 20-minute discovery call gives us an opportunity to talk about what's happening, what you would like to change and whether relationship coaching with me is appropriate for what you're looking for.
Book Your Free 20-Minute Discovery Call